Since moving to Vancouver, I have had the chance to reconnect with friends that I haven't seen in a long time. It has been great.
Within the first week of being here, I saw 2 very good friends, both of which oddly enough were from Revelstoke. One I was in brownies with when we were the ripe old age of seven, played soccer with in highschool and then was lucky enough to be neighbours with for a few years in university, which made a true friendship grow from just a casual acquaintance. Conveniently enough, she also lives 2 blocks away from me now and although we lost contact the last few years, living in the same city again has brought us right back to where we were before. Something I am very thankful for.
The other, I have been good friends with since grade 8, and have had many adventures and misadventures with over the years including being prom dates and using each other as significant others when the need has arisen. I am very lucky to have him and we will be life partners for many years to come (or so says medical forms that we have both filled out throughout the years. Thank you Kelowna General.) It is with this good friend and his family that I am spending my Christmas with, something which I will always remember and will be thankful for. Being that this is my first Christmas away from my mom and dad and Revelstoke, who better to spend it with then a family that I have known for so long and one that I consider to be family. I want to thank everyone else that did offer me a place to go, I really appreciate it and I am lucky to have each and everyone of you in my life.
Back on the subject of good friends reuniting....
I had a company Christmas party coming up and was in need of a date. So I sent out an email to 2 of the guys I had been at university with that were living here, and BOTH were willing to jiggle their existing schedules to come. The one that ended up coming with me was a great date. We had a lot of laughs and agreed on the way home that even though it had been 6 years since we had last hung out, it felt like it had just been last week. That is the sign of a great and lasting friendship.
I also went to lunch with another friend from university last week, again one that I hadn't seen in 6 years and it was the same thing. Feels like it had only been a week. We had a great lunch and the hour flew by, with both of us agreeing that we needed more time.
So to all these people I would like to say thank you and that I value our relationships and it is great to have you back in my life. A special Merry Christmas to each of them and to everyone reading this blog.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
I'm not your back-up plan.
WARNING: This blog comes when I am in a pissy mood and need to vent a few things. But at the same time it gives you a glimpse into why I have this low self-esteem issue that has been mentioned before.
It seems that I have always been most people's back-up plan, even one of my aunts said it to me in an e-mail one time when I was venting to her, she's sick of me being a back-up plan too. And being one really sucks. I am the person that you date or hang out with after Plan A has fallen apart. Or, for whatever reason, I'm the girl that no one can know that you hang out with, it's a big secret. We can't be seen in town together and we only hang out at night. I must be a real embarrassment, that or all my friends are actually vampires.
These are the type of people that I seem to have been drawn to, and for a reason unbeknown to me I have always accepted it. Well all that is starting to change. I have started deleting people that fit that profile from my life, and although it was super hard when I did it, it feels good now. So good-bye men that want to be friends and keep me hanging on just until they meet someone new, the most recent one telling me of a new love interest and then having the balls to exclaim with delight "And she looks just like you!" Delete. Actually, after a few days of thinking about it, he even became a member of the Facebook "blocked" group not to mention deleted off my cell phone and thank God for caller ID, I was able to not answer calls until he got the hint. Sorry, I just don't need to hear about all your sexual escapades with my apparent twin. Feels good now. Weird some days when we had been such good "friends" but with SOME of the friends I seem to have, who needs enemies.
The other fun group that I seem to have is the ones that seem to be supportive, but actually make little comments that knock you down. This group I usually take any and all of their input with a grain of salt, because they usually can be pretty funny, so I keep them around. But there are sometimes when little comments they make linger and bother me, so these people right now are on very thin ice as I try and get rid off all the negativity that keeps bringing me down.
People that are reading this and feeling guilty, I wouldn't worry too much, because it means I haven't blocked you off Facebook yet, which means I probably haven't clued in that you are treating me like that yet. So here is a plea, either change so you don't fit into the category or make my life easier and delete me, odds are I might not even clue in you have deleted me.
Being a back-up plan is fun for no one in my eyes. So even if you aren't doing it to me, take a minute and think about the relationships that you do have with people and if you are doing it with anyone in your life, for their sake try and stop. Save someone else the upset that hopefully you can now see that it causes.
I know that some readers might be thinking this blog is supposed to be about getting to Everest, and it still it, this is just all part of the healing and changing that I need to do to achieve the goal. Sorry if it was a downer, but hey, you got warned at the beginning. I promise that the next one will be more spunky :)
It seems that I have always been most people's back-up plan, even one of my aunts said it to me in an e-mail one time when I was venting to her, she's sick of me being a back-up plan too. And being one really sucks. I am the person that you date or hang out with after Plan A has fallen apart. Or, for whatever reason, I'm the girl that no one can know that you hang out with, it's a big secret. We can't be seen in town together and we only hang out at night. I must be a real embarrassment, that or all my friends are actually vampires.
These are the type of people that I seem to have been drawn to, and for a reason unbeknown to me I have always accepted it. Well all that is starting to change. I have started deleting people that fit that profile from my life, and although it was super hard when I did it, it feels good now. So good-bye men that want to be friends and keep me hanging on just until they meet someone new, the most recent one telling me of a new love interest and then having the balls to exclaim with delight "And she looks just like you!" Delete. Actually, after a few days of thinking about it, he even became a member of the Facebook "blocked" group not to mention deleted off my cell phone and thank God for caller ID, I was able to not answer calls until he got the hint. Sorry, I just don't need to hear about all your sexual escapades with my apparent twin. Feels good now. Weird some days when we had been such good "friends" but with SOME of the friends I seem to have, who needs enemies.
The other fun group that I seem to have is the ones that seem to be supportive, but actually make little comments that knock you down. This group I usually take any and all of their input with a grain of salt, because they usually can be pretty funny, so I keep them around. But there are sometimes when little comments they make linger and bother me, so these people right now are on very thin ice as I try and get rid off all the negativity that keeps bringing me down.
People that are reading this and feeling guilty, I wouldn't worry too much, because it means I haven't blocked you off Facebook yet, which means I probably haven't clued in that you are treating me like that yet. So here is a plea, either change so you don't fit into the category or make my life easier and delete me, odds are I might not even clue in you have deleted me.
Being a back-up plan is fun for no one in my eyes. So even if you aren't doing it to me, take a minute and think about the relationships that you do have with people and if you are doing it with anyone in your life, for their sake try and stop. Save someone else the upset that hopefully you can now see that it causes.
I know that some readers might be thinking this blog is supposed to be about getting to Everest, and it still it, this is just all part of the healing and changing that I need to do to achieve the goal. Sorry if it was a downer, but hey, you got warned at the beginning. I promise that the next one will be more spunky :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Teva Stilettos are where I draw the line.
Growing up in the mountain town of Revelstoke, and in the family I did, it was never on the top of my growing up list to learn to walk in high heels or to be a super girlie girl.
We grew up in sandals, running shoes and ski boots. I still choose flip flops over all other form of footwear. I love them and can walk anytime and anywhere in them. I even have a whole Rubbermaid full of different pairs to go with different outfits. Dressed up or dressed down, there is a flip flop for every occasion. Yes, I even will wear them on my wedding day. Sorry mom.
When I started lifeguarding, there was a rule that we needed shoes that strapped to our feet, which really does make sense. So that is when my Tevas entered my life. I think it was 1998 when I bought them and they are still going strong, and after A LOT of use. They are super comfy and I would not hesitate to buy a pair again, although they are now almost double the price they were back in good ole '98.
Even though the old me had vanished and I wasn't the hiker and outdoorsy person I was, I still followed products on the Internet and thoroughly enjoy the Mountain Equipment Co-op catalogue. I'm sure that place will be seeing a lot more of my money while I outfit myself on this Everest adventure.
Tonight, my faith in outdoor wear hit a little snafu. That is when I saw this http://ht.ly/3hbvb. Hippies rejoice, you now can keep your hippie faith and still look like a girl, the Teva Stiletto has arrived. For only $330.00 these babies can be yours. Now I have a thing for ugly high heels, since I hardly ever wear them, when I do I like them to be memorable but, I think even I would draw the line at these. I'm sure they are uber comfy, but still, there's something just not right about it.
Sorry Teva, I think I will pass, unless I need too hooch it up in the bush and look stylish while climbing over rocks and wading through creeks. Maybe I will pair them with with my MEC fur coat and my Northface diamond necklace. That would be beautiful.
We grew up in sandals, running shoes and ski boots. I still choose flip flops over all other form of footwear. I love them and can walk anytime and anywhere in them. I even have a whole Rubbermaid full of different pairs to go with different outfits. Dressed up or dressed down, there is a flip flop for every occasion. Yes, I even will wear them on my wedding day. Sorry mom.
When I started lifeguarding, there was a rule that we needed shoes that strapped to our feet, which really does make sense. So that is when my Tevas entered my life. I think it was 1998 when I bought them and they are still going strong, and after A LOT of use. They are super comfy and I would not hesitate to buy a pair again, although they are now almost double the price they were back in good ole '98.
Even though the old me had vanished and I wasn't the hiker and outdoorsy person I was, I still followed products on the Internet and thoroughly enjoy the Mountain Equipment Co-op catalogue. I'm sure that place will be seeing a lot more of my money while I outfit myself on this Everest adventure.
Tonight, my faith in outdoor wear hit a little snafu. That is when I saw this http://ht.ly/3hbvb. Hippies rejoice, you now can keep your hippie faith and still look like a girl, the Teva Stiletto has arrived. For only $330.00 these babies can be yours. Now I have a thing for ugly high heels, since I hardly ever wear them, when I do I like them to be memorable but, I think even I would draw the line at these. I'm sure they are uber comfy, but still, there's something just not right about it.
Sorry Teva, I think I will pass, unless I need too hooch it up in the bush and look stylish while climbing over rocks and wading through creeks. Maybe I will pair them with with my MEC fur coat and my Northface diamond necklace. That would be beautiful.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Audios Stretchy Pants...
I know that my weight gain began about 6 years ago.
I'm an emotional eater and I seemed to be emotional all the time.
A 3 year relationship I was in was starting to fail and he had some some really stupid things to me but due to the fact that I "loved" him I kept hanging on and that is never a good idea. At least it taught me a lot of things and looking back now it has made me a stronger person.
Then there was major work drama, I was so miserable that all I did after work was eat and sleep on the couch, it was a vicious cycle, the more I ate the worse I felt therefore time to eat more food to make myself feel better. Plus having a horrible boss didn't help the matter, one that grabs onto back fat and makes it move and then says to other employees "Come feel this, it feels so weird!" That really perks a person right up.
But being young and trying to desperately hold onto a job I loved, refused to make a comment, for whatever reason I was too much of a wimp to defend myself. I ended up quitting that place and moved onto a much better place, which was just great and I met some amazing people that I really miss and think about each day. They were like a breath of fresh air and I made one lasting relationship that I truly value (you know who you are!)
Add in a couple more heartbreaks and it, for me, is a recipe for body disaster. Now, I'm not blaming all these people, it was me that put the food in my mouth, and me that decided all I could do was sleep instead of going for a walk, but that was the mental state that I was in at the time, and let's face it, these people, who were a huge part of my life, were having a negative impact. Looking back, I really was a shell of my former self.
But times are a changin' my friends.
Since the big move in August I have dropped 10lbs, I power walk my dog twice a day and I think just being a homeowner has made the difference, no one else is going to vacuum, do laundry, mow the lawn, clean the windows, shovel the snow and all the other house chores that come with it. Hence why I am writing this blog before 7 am on a Saturday, it is still too dark to be outside and make noise, plus I have a flat tire on the car to deal with, but that is a whole other story.
I feel that my old confident self is starting to come back, the girl that was so awesome and upbeat at university has been making guest appearances in my day to day life, and I really like her, just so long as her bar star counterpart stays away, that one got us into trouble sometimes. ;)
So 10lbs down but a lot more to go. Sorry Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima, you too Ben and Jerry, I'm leaving the family.
I'm an emotional eater and I seemed to be emotional all the time.
A 3 year relationship I was in was starting to fail and he had some some really stupid things to me but due to the fact that I "loved" him I kept hanging on and that is never a good idea. At least it taught me a lot of things and looking back now it has made me a stronger person.
Then there was major work drama, I was so miserable that all I did after work was eat and sleep on the couch, it was a vicious cycle, the more I ate the worse I felt therefore time to eat more food to make myself feel better. Plus having a horrible boss didn't help the matter, one that grabs onto back fat and makes it move and then says to other employees "Come feel this, it feels so weird!" That really perks a person right up.
But being young and trying to desperately hold onto a job I loved, refused to make a comment, for whatever reason I was too much of a wimp to defend myself. I ended up quitting that place and moved onto a much better place, which was just great and I met some amazing people that I really miss and think about each day. They were like a breath of fresh air and I made one lasting relationship that I truly value (you know who you are!)
Add in a couple more heartbreaks and it, for me, is a recipe for body disaster. Now, I'm not blaming all these people, it was me that put the food in my mouth, and me that decided all I could do was sleep instead of going for a walk, but that was the mental state that I was in at the time, and let's face it, these people, who were a huge part of my life, were having a negative impact. Looking back, I really was a shell of my former self.
But times are a changin' my friends.
Since the big move in August I have dropped 10lbs, I power walk my dog twice a day and I think just being a homeowner has made the difference, no one else is going to vacuum, do laundry, mow the lawn, clean the windows, shovel the snow and all the other house chores that come with it. Hence why I am writing this blog before 7 am on a Saturday, it is still too dark to be outside and make noise, plus I have a flat tire on the car to deal with, but that is a whole other story.
I feel that my old confident self is starting to come back, the girl that was so awesome and upbeat at university has been making guest appearances in my day to day life, and I really like her, just so long as her bar star counterpart stays away, that one got us into trouble sometimes. ;)
So 10lbs down but a lot more to go. Sorry Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima, you too Ben and Jerry, I'm leaving the family.
Friday, November 26, 2010
The beginning of a whole new crazy idea....
So after watching people that are far too young have horrible things happen to them it really made me re-evaluate my current place in life and what I have accomplished and what I have only ever dreamt about doing. So I figure, why not change those dreams into a reality.
So here is the big one....
Trek to the base camp of Mt. Everest.
So I know that I am overweight, heck for my height I actually could be considered obese, so why not pick a dream that not only would be amazing to be able to say I have done it for the rest of my life but will also kick me in the butt health and body wise.
The purpose of this blog is to hopefully show people that anything is possible if you put your mind to it (hopefully!) and to have people come along on this adventure from the very beginning with me.
You might be asking yourself why I chose Everest and be thinking that I am totally nuts and will never be able to accomplish the grand idea. Well, I know deep down inside that I can do it, that the totally in shape and adventurous girl that used to hike the ski hill for fun instead of waiting for the lifts to open is still in there, she`s just covered with some extra padding.
So here we go, get ready world, here I come....and by world I mean Nepal.
My prayer flags are hung in the back yard, I'm almost there.
So here is the big one....
Trek to the base camp of Mt. Everest.
So I know that I am overweight, heck for my height I actually could be considered obese, so why not pick a dream that not only would be amazing to be able to say I have done it for the rest of my life but will also kick me in the butt health and body wise.
The purpose of this blog is to hopefully show people that anything is possible if you put your mind to it (hopefully!) and to have people come along on this adventure from the very beginning with me.
You might be asking yourself why I chose Everest and be thinking that I am totally nuts and will never be able to accomplish the grand idea. Well, I know deep down inside that I can do it, that the totally in shape and adventurous girl that used to hike the ski hill for fun instead of waiting for the lifts to open is still in there, she`s just covered with some extra padding.
So here we go, get ready world, here I come....and by world I mean Nepal.
My prayer flags are hung in the back yard, I'm almost there.
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